A computer science student Interested in Programming Languages currently learning HTML protocols shares his drug abuse story.
I'm glad to have you tell your story
Thanks for having me. If there's anything I would want to do with my life, it is to raise awareness on the effects of drug abuse in society. Also, to emphasize on good parenting, how parents could play an important role in the lives of their children. Trauma is a very nasty thing.
This must be a difficult thing for you, having to share this
Yes it is. It is my truth, an undiluted truth but somehow I feel the need to be safe and secure from the aftermath of being truthful, especially in the society of today. Since it is for a good cause, it's worth it, as long as humans stop the act, change their ways, become better persons and that those who are naive about it, I mean the generation behind us, would look at it as a lighthouse. And to those who are struggling with it, it could be a beacon of hope to them.
Let's start from the very beginning, What led to your substance abuse?
It all started in Port Harcourt city. I took my first roll of marijuana in that city. I graduated from secondary school in 2012. I moved there in 2013 because I intended to apply for a degree program at the University of Port Harcourt.
I had chosen "Uniport" as my first choice for tertiary education. And petroleum engineering was my choice of course. The person who registered that jamb in 2012 made a mistake he picked Uniport as second choice, and chose Akwa Ibom state university as the first which was the opposite of what I had wanted. Upon getting to Port Harcourt for the examination, I was told by a few people who were already in the school that it would be very difficult to gain admission into the university if I picked the university as my second choice. I wrote the UTME to gain admission in Uniport anyways. I had over 230 in that jamb. I think it was 246 or thereabouts. I didn't make the list. I waited for the first, second and all other lists they said would come but I didn't make any.
This can be a frustrating situation, I know this because I didn't get into the university at my first UTME
Yes, definitely it is. Before moving to PH from Akwa Ibom in 2013, there was a girl, we were good friends back in secondary school that became my girlfriend afterwards. We picked Port Harcourt as our choice of University. She housed me for a few weeks because she rented a house there. Later, I got my own apartment not too far from hers, some weeks she wouldn't stay in hers, she was totally living in mine just as I used to live in hers too. We had two apartments so the choice of where to stay was kind of a problem though most times we stayed at my place and she would stay at hers if we had issues.
So you were practically living together full time
Yes
It was going very well. She and I were not admitted into the university so we both decided to enroll for the remedial program. I was already frustrated from lack of funds, seeing the school life, not being able to mingle as other students had the time and chance to navigate their lives, being new to the environment, higher education life, living away from parents, amongst other reasons.
I greatly anchor my lack of seriousness to pursue my education on the fact that I was in that relationship because I became distracted. My main purpose of being in School was so relaxed, enjoying the moments with her over anything else. The fears of losing her made me cling to her, always wanting to be with and around her. Seeing other guys who started showing interest in her as a threat and all. It is the higher institution of course and in that environment students live in a close-knitted fashion.
There were lots of other guys, fresher, cuter, richer, and all like I said earlier, I had no funds to take care of certain responsibilities which not by her request but by my own choice, I believed I had to take care of some needs, even if it's the least of her needs I couldn't even take care of mine.
And she took responsibility for the both of you?
No, we both shared it, including our individual allowances and food stuff. We lived like couples in school and we stopped attending lectures at some point and always be at home because we might end up with a course we wouldn't want to study at the end of the remedial program instead we thought to hold on until the next Jamb and UTME so we write fresh exams and try to gain admission again.
At what point did you realise you were going on the "wrong" path
I started feeling the fragments of making the wrong choices and taking the wrong path from Port Harcourt. It all started when I left the purpose of being there which is education and had my focus on other things. These things were fragments of my thoughts but I would reassure myself that I will get into school the next year and everything will be fine. We never read or visit the school premises, we were just always indoors and messing around. I am often someone that realizes my mistakes and loves to be honest with whosoever I am dealing with but now I was lying to my parents about the school situation she was lying to hers as well.
Did she ever try to encourage you?
Encourage me? Not that she really did. I think she was seeing my stress and weaknesses because I didn't want to show them to her. I concealed that side of me, bottled it up but it was eating me up inside too.
Why did you not trust her with that, considering how close you were?
I really don't know why. I cannot remember if I did or not. If I did, I think she used to say kind words to me and assure me that we would get back into school the next year. We were going through a series of issues, breakups and makeups. My mind was divided. My soul and conscience was judging me badly.
Your parents still had no idea of your situation, did they?
No, they did not. I was still trying to live a normal life so I started hanging out with a guy who was in his final year in the school. He was my neighbor, a room separated from mine. He smoked marijuana.
And you felt you would get that with your new friend?
I mingled with him and took my first drag of Marijuana at his house. He was the only guy who actually wanted to know how my day was and how things were going for me. He showed genuine interest in me like a big brother but in the years that followed I still wish I never went close to him.
We would go get the weed together, he would help me roll it soon I started going to get it by myself. I frequented his place to know if he had some and he soon stopped rolling it up for me, told me to learn and start doing it myself which I did.
How long did it continue?
For a few months I think, but I wasn't addicted or so I thought because I could stay away from it if I chose to but it was also my only solace for a failed education which I planned to pursue. It helped me stay cool, sleep and all.
In 2014 I wrote Jamb but didn't make it my girlfriend did, I was still lingering around and couldn't tell my parents about all of these. Then I returned home at a certain time just for holidays.
On one of those holidays, I was the only child around. My dad travelled to setup a business in another state. Our family house is so large we sometimes accommodate clergy men who visit our church. I caught my mother …….
To be continued....
Tags:
inspirational